Pungent Smell of Depression

Pungent Smell of Depression

I am going in that phase of my life where it is getting harder for me to sense happiness, as if I am losing it day by day. It should me one of the happiest days of my life, but I don’t know why I am not enjoying it? Everyone is so excited but I am not. The level of excitement is decreasing day by day.

I am now sensing the pungent smell of depression near me. And it is getting harder not to be engulfed by it. I lost my job 4 5 months back and now due to my condition, I cannot go out to work. Because of it, all he financial burden is now laid upon my husband – I to be blamed.

I am losing physical attractiveness as well. I am feeling that my husband is either working so hard on his job that he really did not have time for me or he does not want to be with me. Again I to be blamed.

I don’t know why I am writing all this. But I really wanted to take this stuff out of my chest. I wish I could scream so loud on top of the world so that I can take this grudge out.

 

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16 thoughts on “Pungent Smell of Depression

  1. I know how you feel. My blog is actually inspired a lot by my own experiences with mental illness. I think you need to talk to your husband about what you can do to help him out. You need to take action, even with depression heavy on your back. Don’t wait until it is too late.

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  2. I won’t say I can understand ’cause I’m sure, the amount of pain you’re bearing must be far more than I can even think of. All i want to say is; PLEASE TRY YOUR LEVEL BEST TO SET THINGS STRAIGHT, like probably they used to be before. And as far as physical appearence is concerned, I believe you’ll gain it all back from that very second when you start becoming happy from your heart again, Sana. ♥

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    1. I am trying at my utmost level Ananya… But it is getting difficult day by day. I am tired of fighting from my inner self as well as from the outer world.

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      1. You can begin to be kind to yourself by forgiving yourself for not enjoying life as much as you think you should. You can give yourself a break about your job, and just be more understanding that right now is not the best time in your life, but you are still a good person with wonderful things to offer the world and the people around you 🙂

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  3. I understand where you’re coming from. I lost my job around June this year & my whole world changed & I get immense down days which I feel eases a little when I write. I think what happened to me was for the best because I realised I was stuck with a toxic job & toxic people, although at the time I didn’t think so.

    I began to follow my first love; writing and that was when my blog began. My family (especially my partner & daughter) have helped. Your family WILL support you because they love you, unconditionally. Hang in there. It will get better & keep writing too. I find it helps to get stuff down.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry to hear your story dear. It is true that writing gives me peace too. I was also stuck with a toxic boss. But at least it was paying me well. That is what I miss.

      Liked by 1 person

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